All my ideas are being tested today. All my beliefs are on the block. My belief that faith is enough. As I struggle with the limited options that I face… a lot of them natural progressions of choices made, I begin to doubt whether I was ever right in what I believed. Yet, somewhere deep down inside I know that the good things that have happened in the world are because of people who simply believed in what they did. Did they doubt, as I doubt today? Did they look back to see if different paths might have led to different destinations?
Which brings me to another, more difficult question. I think I am one of the privileged few. Part of the top 10-15%. Okay maybe 20-25%. Even so I am still more privileged than many. And I face the fear of narrowing options. If my fear is so great, what must the underprivileged face? Day in and day out? Yet, their expectation of Life is so little – maybe assured food for the children. Maybe an education, which they believe will lead to out of the constant, grinding insecurity – and yet little though it is, is as difficult to reach as what I struggle with…. Or what the rest of the top 20-25%, 10-15% or 5% struggle with.
Which brings me to a realisation – that struggle, insecurity, fear … all of being not able to get ‘there’ seems to be the one single constant in everyone’s life. One common bottom-line.
In face of all these musings and thoughts, I begin to feel it does not matter whether one believes or doesn’t… whether one hopes for a good change or not… because no matter what one does or does not, it does not matter… yet the only one way one can survive life is by believing that it does.