On Choice

Freedom from Choice is a powerful way to be – the state where one needs to make no choices. The state of complete equilibrium, where one option would not matter over the other. A state of internal freedom externally expressed. But where is that line then? Where are the areas where it degenerates into a stoicism that comes from deep hopelessness? Where the rationalization of not having a capacity to choose is translated into a state of no-choice? Where conformanace is so imposed – by social, economic and political factors, that all options cease to exist? The thin line between a resignation and transcendence?

Perhaps I fight so much for a state of choice because I see so much of having-no-choice in our work. And the fact that small developments, suddenly bring about a huge range of choices. Bringing life changes. The first thing people say post-development is ‘now i have options. i have a choice’ – to make a decision, to express an opinion, to counter a violence, to send children to school, to buy basic necessities for the house and so on.

I think to reach a state of freedom of choice, one has to first experience all that goes before it… our hopelessness in the face of immovables in life, our fear of change and the chaos it would bring if one were to make those choices, and yes, our enslavements and laziness as exercising choice would mean an exertion of will…. to a state where doors open, options increase and exercising choice becomes a norm… it is only when one has been truly able to exercise choice, through negotiations with the internal and the external, that one can move into the tranquility of freedom from choice. Atma jab tak tript nahin hota, how can one embrace transcendence?

To me I am still very firmly and clearly entrenched in the realm of not having choices in many areas of life… struggling to find those edges of ring-pass-not, the invisible ways i have cut off my freedom to experience… but i realise that the moment i see my barriers, they fall off leaving me free to make a choice… and making choices and exercising options frees me to where it no longer matters in a most positive sense… it is a struggle of course… but not distressing, though it does cause distress sometimes…

For the moment, it is still traversing between the extremes of no-choice and choices… one day i hope to transcend it all…

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