Relationships fall apart. Intimate relationships. Important relationships. It is a fact of life. It is seen everywhere. Everyone’s does. Sometime or the other. (Mine have done too, at one point or other; some fortunately recovered and some didn’t). And so has every person’s I have known. If it doesn’t fall apart, it hangs on, agonized, by its fingernails.
When a relationship is at stake, I have learnt, it is time to learn something in a hurry. The lesson, as I learnt, is about the purpose of the relationship and the role of the protagonists.
The other is a fellow-traveller… and sometimes we forget this… instead of travelling together we begin to do other things:
we make the other our purpose of travel or become the purpose of travel of the other;
we become the Master in the relationship or allow the other to become one;
we bind the other or get bound by the other;
we take over the will of the other or submit our will to the other;
we possess the other or become possessed by the other;
we make the other fit into our picture of perfection or try to fit into the other’s picture of perfection… and so on… using all the tools of coercion, manipulation and what not…
It is then that Life jumps at us, in between us, with a reminder.
It does not matter whether we perpetrate or get victimised. Both are equal offences, after all in the laws of Life.
Life (or our Soul) jumps at us and says, “Hey ! What are you doing?! Your life-purpose is not that. Have you forgotten? It is ME. You have to live ME. You have to love ME. And all you sacrifice for, work towards, and labour for is me, Me, ME! And don’t you forget THAT!”.
Life/Soul doesn’t care for being second-best. Doesn’t care for pipsqueaks of mere humans, things, concepts, beliefs …in fact, anything, to take its place. Everything, but everything, has to take second place – to IT.
And it becomes time for us to evaluate ourselves and where we had begun to head. We begin to check out what role we are playing in screwing up our lives. Sometimes, we manage to catch ourselves in time. Get back on track. And sometimes we cannot.
We are lucky if we manage to get back a semblance of understanding on our priorities. But oftentimes we don’t. And if we continue making the same mistakes, Life keeps repeating the same lessons again and again.