What are Prayers, if not an expression of our intent?
For years I have rejected praying, equating it with religion and everything in the realm of God. Believing myself to be a rational, logical person with firm roots in the mind, God and prayer seemed remote entities, too nebulous to put one’s eggs in that particular basket.
Over the years I have mellowed … though I still balk at calling the mysterious, mystical, All-That-Is god. I prefer not to corrupt its immensity with various definitions of god that have been bandied about over millenia. I also don’t mind calling this All-That-Is ‘The Force’ … so descriptive of its nature, with no attribution of any values to it, except a feeling of deep understanding of what it could be.
Anyways, coming back to Prayers … I cannot deny that in moments of utter chaos, or in situations where I felt total helplessness or fear, I haven’t reached out to the All-Being in Prayer. I have. And they have never worked. So it has only gone to further my belief in the hopelessness of Prayer.
Yet, strangely, enough there have been innumerable moments, when I reach a particular state, where there is no option but to abandon oneself to the faith in something beyond oneself, and when I intend, that have always, always happened. This has gone to only shake my firm lack of belief in prayer.
So, what is it then?
With the Quantum Theory playing on my mind the last few days, the idea of creating our reality, has become more and more plausible. Well science has gone to prove it, so who am I to dispute that, eh? But as true experience, there comes that one particular moment when either in a state of total balance, in a state of total loss of oneself, in a total state of certainty with no doubts, no anxiety about consequences, when one intends, it gets created. I could call this the moment of Prayer.
And since I have observed this happening, I have lost all ability to reach that state, to that moment of genesis! For now I find myself more engaged with watching whether I am reaching that state, to actually reaching that state !
So, there go my prayers… empty-handed, only further emphasizing the disbelief in my mind.