Boundaries. Wonderful things. They keep what we don’t want out. And thankfully keep bits and parts of ourselves in, not letting all of ourselves loose on the world. And sometimes they are not so wonderful, especially when not understood entirely.
There are different types of boundaries – some are visible and some are invisible. Some are understood without being seen. Some are not acknowledged or agreed upon. Some boundaries are like fences, easily seen across and some are high walls, extremely private.
There are boundaries laid out by social rules. And there are some that are intensely personal / ethical boundaries. And there are boundaries defined by the Laws of the Universe.
Social boundaries are the easiest – they are visible. Most often they are “learnt”. Unquestioned. Accepted blindly. And there are ‘punishments’ for transgressions. Social ‘hard’, crimes gets one the prison – murder, theft, rape, violence etc.etc.etc. ‘Soft’ crimes get social ostracization – unwed mothers, inter-caste and inter-religious marriages, so-called illicit relationships etc.etc.etc. The end result of all these punishments are usually emotional – arousing guilt, fear, and un-belonging.
Personal or ethical boundaries are more difficult – some are visible and some are invisible. Usually relate to invasion of personal and psychological spaces. They are most difficult to counter. Whose laws and boundaries apply? Who decides? And almost always go un-punished. Profiteering, unethical business and social transactions, transgressions of privacy, etc.etc.etc. Some of these boundaries can move between personal and social. Privacy issues are least understood. It can be as mild as a neighbour who comes in as soon as the door is opened to as severe as looking into other people’s intensely personal and private sharings. How does one ‘punish’ this? Only the ‘victim’ feels violated. And most often the transgressor has a rationalized ‘reason’ and thus takes the entitlement of not feeling any guilt. And such transgressions go almost always unpunished.
Universal Laws are most nebulous. Almost always un-understood. Some of the crimes are not being true to oneself, not following one’s heart, strangling one’s own needs under the burden of another’s emotions, not having the courage to walk one’s own path, not respecting the unconditionality of love, not respecting one’s nature or swa-dharma, allowing onself to be controlled and violated by another. The transgressions can seem to come from another – but these crimes are always personal. The responsibility lies within oneself. The responsibility lies in oneself to recognise them and say ‘No’. Often these violations are perpetrated and experienced under the guise of social laws or worse, Love. Universal laws and social laws can sometimes contradict one another. The trick is to understand and differentiate. The consequences of transgressions of Universal Laws are toxic and far reaching. They reach deep into several lifetimes and become part of our Karma. Consequences are always felt at soul level.
It might be useful to check out which boundaries we ourselves regularly or periodically transgress – others’ and our own … and how these transgressions get paid out and played out – in our lives and in others’.